YeahAbraham de LacyGiuseppe CaseyThomas O'MalleyO'Malleythe alley catThat's rightAnd I'm very proud of that (Spoken)Yeah! [Clips of "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" are shown]. And they have two children, Betsy and Timmy. Steady, girl. Roquefort:A-A-Alley cats!? Mark Elliott: This summer, share the feeling. Billy: No, but the rest is kind of hard to believe. Duchess: Now, now, darlings. Edgar Balthazar: Madame, uh-- May I takeyour parcel, Madame? Frou-Frou: Hurry, Roquefort. [Humming"Rock-A-Bye-Baby"]. Thomas is, a dear friend of ours. [offscreen]Duchess and the kittensare in trouble! Right? Marie: Come on, guys, lets all start meowing. [offscreen]Berlioz, here we are. Its an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. Coming! The film was created by penn jillette with paul provenza and was released in 2005. Berlioz: Look, guys! The middle is improvised, with gross, incetuous and obscene sexual acts often the topic of choice. Uncle Waldo: [Laughter]Now, now, now, now. Edgar opens the door. Duchess: Now, now, darlings. Quick, kittens! I can't wait. I know it's Georges. Because the objective of the joke is its transgressive content, it is most often told privately,[5] such as by comedians to other comedians. All right. IT'S JUST, "HERE WE GO, FOLKS." All aboard for Paris! Oh! And, Georges, we must be sure toprovide for their future little ones. Hallelujah! Duchess: Now, Marie, darling,don't be frightened. But, knows where what's at? All thoselittle kittens of yours, Duchess. Georges Hautecourt: Let go of my cane, man! Let's play train. Even if the punchline was the 1%, the joke would. She loves us very much. Kittens? Amelia: "Exactly"? Le Petit Caf Chef: Sacrebleu! Yes. You ready? Heel, roll over, play dead! Maybe you fellon your head. Duchess: Over here, darling. Someday, we might meeta tough alley cat. Just back away from me. But I don't remember what was so "bad." Georges Hautecourt: And how we celebrated your success! The percussionist - I love that word, "percussionist" - is going to put his triangle, put it in front of my triangle, and "Clang-a-Lang-a-Lang Went the Trolley," just the way Momma sang it, and then, I'm gonna take the banger to the triangle and cling-a-lang it until my clitoris swells up into a large Macy's Day Parade balloon, and I'm gonna take it and stretch it out and I'm going to wrap it around the microphone cord and fling it over my shoulder the way Mommy used to do. Wait for me! Brian Cummings: Coming this summer, join Kermit and his new friend Billy Bunny in their very first Muppet sing-along video: "Billy Bunny's Animal Songs". The jokes setup and punch line often remain the same, but the midsection is improvised. Because no one is gonna book this show! The 100 Greatest TV Shows of All Time I, me, after-- No. Well, that's easy for, uh,for what's-his-name to say. He eats stuff off her face. Beautiful. Oh, sorry, my dear. Everythingyou possess? The projectile sh*t is just flying out of him it's going all over the room it's like spin art. Duchess: [Laughing]Oh, darling. Peppo:Oh, we didn't mean-a to,to rough a-you, squeaky! Frou-Frou neighs. Andy's birthday festival's been movedto today. Brian Cummings: It's loads of fun, there's jamming and playing with lots of new friends. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:You know, Georges, if Edgarhad only known about the will,I'm sure he neverwould have left. "The Aristocrats" is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians and dates back to the vaudeville era. A family walks in to a talent. [ Stammering ]D-D-Don't rush me. [After the Walt Disney Pictures logo, we fade to a black background]. Billy Bunny: [sings] That is what we really do so, yow! Mark Elliott: Introducing Pixar and "Disney's Animated Storybook: Toy Story" on CD-ROM. Whoo-whoo! Amelia: It's scandalous. Roquefort: Well, yes. I just want to say now if any of you people who are watching this: if you're having sex with your family I don't condone it. Abigail,Amelia & Uncle Waldo: [ Laughing ]. Which pets get to sleep on velvet mats? [Sniffling][Sloshing][Splat]Yeah! I wanna go home! All of them dollars. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: You're a shamelessflatterer, Georges. Lafayette: Oh, shucks, Napoleon. Then, at the endof their life span,my entire estatewill revert to Edgar. On this Wikipedia the language links are at the top of the page across from the article title. Billy Boss: Ha-ha! Sir? You didn't say anything about blood." [The camera zooms into the theater screen as the screen fades to black]. Where did these people find employment! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Oh, it's no use, Edgar. When they're seen upon an airing. Andy Richter: The brother comes out. I thought he'd never leave! Here I come! Now think "goose.". O'Malley jumps into the trunk]. It's like Curly in the Stooges. The 2005 film The Aristocrats documented the history of the joke, which was so filthy that comedians traditionally told it backstage at clubs rather than in the spotlight. Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. I havea cracker with me. Two-cylinder, chain drive. O'Malley: Duchess and kittens in trouble? The father says to the talent agent, "Sir, our family has an amazing act. A family walks in to Oh, what a horrible,horrible human! Hello, kittens. [Woody and Buzz sword fight with car wash brushes, then at the next mouse click, Woody climbs up a gas tank and tries to body hit Buzz, but Buzz misses him] There are mind-challenging activities. [Laughing]You're making it very difficult. O'Malley:Yeah. Lafayette: [offscreen;chuckling]This time, I get the tender part. Roquefort: That's it! Aristocats[ Singing ln French ]. [Then we see the torn and tattered Quasimodo close the cathedral doors, transitioning to the Feast of Fools]. Very poetic. [Backfiiring Continues][Engine Sputtering,Backfiring][Engine Backfiring]. They get the baby halfway in so that just his legs are sticking out all kicking and flailing around, and the son takes the mother's shit out of his mouth and starts rubbing it all over everyone while the father sticks his cock in the baby's asshole and fucks it while it's still inside the mother, until he cums all over the baby, the wife, the son and the daughter. Naturellement! To my cats. [gasps] Not me! Art treasures,jewels and--. We chased four motorcarsand a bicycle and a scooter. The joke ends with the agent asking what the bizarre act is called, and the family replies the aristocrats. Sounds like Scat Cat andhis gang have dropped by. Anyway, it's much longerthan I'd ever live. Hey! Berlioz: Yeah, man. [offscreen]Hey! 1 Mar. Uncle Waldo: [Screaming]Abigail! Mark Elliott: With it's all-new 37th animated motion picture! Ah, Georges. Winnie the Pooh! Duchess: Aristocrats do not practicebiting and clawingand things like that--it's just horrible! I'll take careof you later. How are you doing that? Amelia: Sir. Duchess: Oh! Marie: Ooh, that would be wonderful, sir! Well, there it is. I had the most horribledream about them. [Metro TrainWhistle Blowing] Oh no, train! [ Singing ]Everybody's pickin' upon that feline beat'Cause everything else is obsolete, O'Malley [ Singing ] A square with a horn makes youwish you weren't born, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]Every time he plays, O'Malley: [ Singing ] But with a squarein the actYou can setmusic back, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]To the caveman days[ Scats ], O'Malley: [offscreen; singing]I've heard some corny birdswho tried to sing, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]Still the cat's the only catwho knows how to swing, Billy Boss: [ With Russian Accent ]Who wants to dig a long-hairedgig and stufflike that, O'Malley and Scat Cat: [ Singing ]When everybody wants to be a catA square with a horn makes youwish you weren't bornEvery time he plays, O'Malley: [ Singing ] Oh, a-rinky tinky dinky, O'Malley and Scat Cat: [ Singing ]With a square in the actyou can set music backTo the caveman days, Marie: [ Singing ] Oh, a-rinky dinky tinky, Trio: [ Singing ]Yes, everybody wants to be a catEverybody wants to be a catBecause a cat's the only cat, who knows where it's atWhen playin' jazzhe always has a welcome mat'Cause everybodydigs a swingin' cat. Let's hurry. O'Malley runs and Edgar chases him. And each cat has nine lives. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:That's exactlywhat they are, Georges. Scat Cat: Well, Marie my little lady,let me elucidate here. This kitten cat knows where it's at! Kittens! The- this family walks into a talent agency. We're on holiday. "Slip of the hand, dreamland.". Now, now, my darlings. Ooh. 4:39. Oh, that's thatfamous restaurant. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: There now, Duchess. It's awful and some blood starts dripping down her leg. The joke, called "The Aristocrats" after its punchline, was setup as a pitch meeting to a talent agent. Duchess: Oh, ho, ho,you are charming! Guard #1: (Tries to get back up, but Achilles sits on him) Woah! [offscreen] Now stop beatin'your gums and sound the attack! This little guy's on the level. A little lowerand faster there, buddy. Poppycock, man! Lafayette:How come you always grabthe tender part for yourself, man? She's a real sexy nine-year-old. Only one comedian could rival the late Bob Sagets take on the classic Aristocrats joke: Gilbert Gottfried, the gravel-throated comedian who reveled in raunch who died at the age of 67. [Shrieking] What's going on?! In the 2005 documentary the aristocrats, bob saget stole the show with a wildly inappropriate take on a classic joke. He rips off his wife's bra. Uhoh, yes. And certainly no one can do this betterthan my faithful servant, Edgar. And we blow Hitler, then next episode, we bite his dick off, ha ho! Uh, not exactlyyour type, Duchess. Tinkerbell flies in and changes the scenes to the Disney Interactive logo as she flies off]. You don't suppose--. In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet, caring father on full house and the [offscreen] Lafayette,what in tarnation you trying to do!? The cat cowers against the wall, shaking in fear. Milkman:Sapristi! I'm the only cat of my kind. I'm still tryin'to get to SHORE! Go! I guess youcan't win 'em all. 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