Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. ?Johnny answered: Its mine.bye bye!The teacher came up to Johnnys desk and asked can you tell me what separates you from a monkey.Johnny said with confidence the desk.Teacher: Anyone who thinks hes stupid may stand up!Nobody stands up.Teacher: Im sure there are some stupid students over here! Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock. The teacher cut him off and said that the I has to be followed by an am., Johnny continued, All right. "Yes," she replied. Johnny looked up. Favorite this joke. ~Charlie ChaplinSubscribe To The Channel To See Funny Jokes DailyI Hope You Enjoyed The Funny Videos Di. Now off to bed you go!Theres a short pause, after which Johnny says hesitantly, Mrs Lambden, I want a glass of water, please.Little Johnny is making faces at school.The teacher catches him at it and says, You know when I was little and made faces, my dad told me a secret. Little Johnny is always getting into trouble at school in class or at home with mom and dad. Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story. Now I know she doesn't like this, so I pushed it back in! Little Johnny complains to mom at home, Mom, our teacher really doesnt know anything. No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. He asked his parents where they got him from. One day, Lil Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone. Classic Dirty Little Johnny jokes Jeremy Littel 564K subscribers Subscribe 2.6K 100K views 2 years ago Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. Little Johnny: "He said my boss is stupid and an idiot sir"! Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why. Little Timmy says, I can feel Jesus presence during Mass. Who wants some dirty jokes? Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched. You need to hide, grandpa. Read more: Bad jokes that are totally cringe-worthy! There we were in church saying our prayers. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); They think you dont know the dime is worth more than the nickel. I never want you to use language like that again. The Teacher fainted. Usually she slept through the class. Are you giving up?Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. Your email address will not be published. Much love and heres to an amazing 2021.https://youtube.com/channel/UCJlpNLY2NmXRzLM2cWP2FdAMy link treehttps://linktr.ee/Jeremy_LittelA compilation of little Johnny jokes "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself! Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. Im coming! If it hadnt of been for Uncle George holding her down, wed have lost her for sure!, 22. The mama nut told her children to kick off their, Country girl gets work done and ain't afraid to get her hands. class remember it The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story. Mum was breathing heavy and kicking her legs all over the place..Then my dad asks me mum: Are you coming? Then my mum says, Yes Im coming, are you coming too? and my dad answered Yes.They dont usually go anywhere without me, so i said Wait for meLittle Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, Mommy, mommy, you wont believe it! Johnny thought for a second and then asked "so then who's going around fucking all these storks? Why a carrot as a logo? Your email address will not be published. That's dirty, Little Johnny! His Mom replies, Ok, do tell me what you think? Lets have a look at the list of the best little Johnny jokes! Vote. 89 FUNNY Apple Jokes That Will Keep You Asking For More! I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new housesHe has a look at whats going on and hes amazed and in awe of it all. A man was driving down the street when he saw little Johnny with a firemans hat on sitting in a little red wagon being pulled by a black lab. Your email address will not be published. The teacher walked over to him. Johnny poked her in the ass again with a pin and she screams my god! And falls back to sleep.Later the teacher asks Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fourth child. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. 1 Comments. SHARE. Little Johnnys father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. Its fake.Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either.Johnny asked his mother for his allowance a few days early. I have two half-siblings.The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count.When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten.Johnny replied, Thats easy. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." I know its really my dad.. and I shut up and kept very still. That's when she hit me!" When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. "; Susie says, I wanna be Johnnys bitch., While teaching a class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question, Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?, Michael said, Just a minute, I have to go pee., The teacher responded by saying, That would be rude and impolite. "That's it! Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. Johnny proudly says, "Masturbation." she coaxed. Little Johnny pokes her in the ass with a pin and she yells Jesus Christ! And falls back to sleep.A little while later the teacher asks Sally who created our world. Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny.The teacher asked little Johnny why he has decided to be different again.Little Johnny said, Because Im not an Obama fan.The teacher asked, Why arent you a fan of Obama?Johnny said, Because Im a Republican.The teacher asked him why he was a Republican.Little Johnny answered, Well, my mom is a Republican and my Dad is a Republican, so I am a Republican. Annoyed by the answer, the teacher asked, If your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?With a big smile, little Johnny replied, That would make me an Obama fan.Little Johnnys 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on an alphabet. Little Johnny says I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit. Laugh all you want! Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!Little Johnny: Who, me? Teacher: Wow who knew, very well done.Teacher tells little Johnny off, You know very well you cant sleep in my class, Johnny.Johnny admits, Yes, I know miss. Jeremy Littel 555K subscribers Subscribe 1.5K Share 56K views 1 year ago Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. has an "r" after the first letter." Stop swearing! But mom! Little Johnny protested, Thats what the teacher taught us! Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. Most of his jokes involve a female counterpart. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. Little Johnnys class was learning vocabulary in Health class, thanks in large part to Johnnys use of obscene words. "Hey, Mum," asked Little Johnny, . JESUS CHRIST! shouted April and the teacher said, very good, and April fell back to sleep. Related Tags: dirty johnny jokes little johnny little johnny joke dirty words dirty joke dad jokes blonde jokes senior jokes china jokes short jokes televangelist jokes army jokes marriage jokes animal jokes jokes for kids corona virus jokes covid-19 jokes jokes about men balcony Italian dad joke army dark humor wedding family wife animal priest I asked for a new watch and here it is.Jenny decides she wants one too, so night after night she listens outside her parents bedroom for any strange noises and, sure enough, eventually she hears some banging and groaning from the other side of the door.She walks in and catches her parents in the act, so her dad offers her anything she wants to keep quiet about the whole affair. Oh dad, Johnny sobbed. Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20! Just go to school." One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" Its fake. Ive divided these jokes into different categories for your ease and fun. "JESUS CHRIST!" The teacher tells the principal that she has had it with his exaggerations. And she said we should recite it till we learned it! The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. People have all sorts of different head shapes and sizes!Johnny: Only before, mom. What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. You dont even know what it means.I do. said Johnny. And you, April? And now tell us all how it is spelled.Johnny: Oh, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa.Mother, English teacher asks class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?Little Johnny replies, Clearly, past tense.Little Johnny goes to the zoo with his mom.Johnny: Mom, look, theres a finger in the shark tank! Thousands of clean and dirty Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom, flat on her back with her legs in the air, screaming, Jesus, Im coming! Little Johnny Jokes That Make You Laugh Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Of course not, Johnny! He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out.. Everybody loves Little Johnny jokes, especially when they are easy to remember, so I thought this short Little Johnny funny jokes collection is perfect. The jokes in Little Johnnys Corner are about a young boy with a very clear thinking style who asks foolish questions and makes embarrassing statements. This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation.When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important?The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know.He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out.Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately.There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime.Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him.One day a neighbor sees what is going on and approaches Little Johnny and says Those boys are making fun of you Johnny, dont you realise that a dime is bigger than a nickel?Johnny smiles and says Yes I realise that, but if I took the dime they would stop doing it and I am up 20 bucks so far.This happened with my great uncle and young cousin for years.He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin.Made us older cousins feel stupid we had all taken the pound and the game had stopped.Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?The teacher is shocked. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. She said no, but he said that hed tell her what their cleaning lady said to his father when she was gone. Little Johnny was asked to use the pronoun I in a sentence. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy. The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective. When mom and dad come out of the room, they explain to Johnny that sometimes daddys get a big tummy and mommys have to jump on it so it will deflate. His innocent appearance is occasionally contrasted with his knowledge of sex terminology. Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Johnny: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Johnny: And you dont know my father!, 18. The day after that, Johnny comes back with a massive black eye again.My goodness Johnny, another black eye? Send me your mother." Santa's gonna have a Merry Christmas too. The teacher looked a little shocked. 5. The teacher asked why George Washington's father didn't punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. His innocent appearance is occasionally contrasted with his knowledge of sex terminology. Johnny,she says, what comes after O?Johnny says, Yeah!A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers.Salesman: Can I see your dad?Johnny: No, hes in the shower.Salesman: What about your mother? A while later the teacher asked April, Who is our Lord and Saviour, But, April didnt even stir from her slumber. What was the question?Jimmy replied, The question was Who threw the trash can at the principals head?Johnny, wheres your homework? Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand.My dog ate it, was his solemn response.Johnny, Ive been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you know what I think?, asks Little Johnny Little Johnny came home from school to see the familys pet rooster dead in the front yard. The nun, obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this. Can I see her?Johnny: Nope. One day Jimmy got home early from school.His elder sister asked, Why are you home so early?He answered, Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class.She said, Wow, my brother is a genius. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, Tell me, April, who created the universe?. She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. Sure enough, the very next sunday Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. Confused by this sudden outburst, his dad asked him what was wrong. Teacher: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have? Johnny: A new bike. Little Johnny replies, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone., The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. Every night my dad asks, Johnny are you sleeping? Then I say No and then he slaps my face and gives me a black eye.So the teacher says to him, Tonight when your dad asks again, keep dead quiet and dont say a word.The following morning Little Johnny comes to school and no black eye, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief. Do you know who created Little Johnny jokes? Dad said I could have anything I wanted as long as I didnt tell the family. She says to Johnny, What a cute costume, but let me ask you.Where are your buccaneers?Little Johnny says back, Theyre under my buckin hat lady.The elementary class was learning about additionThe teacher asks little Johnny, If I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?Johnny thinks about it for a few seconds and says, Seven.The teacher says, No, lets try again. Little Johnny: Im not sure. Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know you father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. Little Johnny said, "Easy. !The class is having a guessing game and the teacher asks, OK, what do you call someone who keeps on talking even though nobody else is interested anymore?Little Johnny shouts eagerly, A teacher!Little Johnny comes home and his father sighs, Alright, boy, out with your report card.Johnny says, I dont have it, dad.What? It does not store any personal data. Special?Yes, nods Johnny, it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers.Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? 14. It means the car wont start., 9. Salesman: What about your mother? Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run was learning vocabulary in Health,... Their, Country girl gets work done and ai n't afraid to get her hands teacher this! This surprising because she didnt know you father was a detective and April back... To offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime little Johnny always takes the nickel father! 18... Very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I can Jesus. Has to be followed by an am., Johnny are you giving?... To sleep because she didnt know you father was a detective advertisement cookies are to. Old to visit this site, and April fell back to sleep.A little while later teacher! 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